I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
