There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
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I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
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