At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
