Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
