Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize