Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Everclear isn't food dammit
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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