what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
