she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
