AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
