I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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