Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
