new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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