Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
