I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Green mimosas i think yes
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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