did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
