Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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