ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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