I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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