i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize