i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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