So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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