I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
