You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
