Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
