i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
