and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
