WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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