id be glad to
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
