im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
