K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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