uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
