my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
