i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
