All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
