so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
