who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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