I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
