I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
