he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
