So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
