I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
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