I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize