i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
