I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
