Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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