We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
