i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
