where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
