i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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