Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
