So drunk, too bad you don't want this
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
you never un-have a 4some
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
