She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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