My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
