Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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