My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
