It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It's rum buckets o'clock
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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