is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
