oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.