if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?