If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
the day after is always just damage control
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.