And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
