Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
