if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
