Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
It's Friday. Sex?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
