Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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