i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
